Raindrops on Roses

You know the song, give it a moment.

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens 

Bright Copper Kettles and warm woolen mittens.

Brown paper packages tied up with string.  

These are a few of my Favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. 

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, 

These are a few of my favorite things. 

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver-white winters that melt into spring 

These are a few of my favorite things. 

This came to me- out of the blue.  If you read that you are probably singing it.  

So I took a moment to just listen to it on repeat.  

The immediate gratitude I felt was beautiful. 

But then immediately I realized why I needed to hear that.  

Change and growth will change the answers.  Because as we grow there are things we need to look at and we might appreciate something one year but something totally different the next.  

When you go through massive shifts you find yourself feeling lost.  I get so busy trying to accept the information I am learning and healing so much that I lose myself and I don't allow the moment to do this.  It's another level of inner child healing as well. 

What are my favorite things now?  The blackness that my mind immediately gave me was a wake up call.  I don't even know anymore.  I have no register for truly favorite things.  Mostly because I have allowed myself to get stuck.  There is a fine line between being grateful for what you have and accepting less because you lack so much. 

When you have lost your home, you have very little food and you have no idea what will happen next.  You tend to just be thankful for the smallest things.  And what is worse it becomes harder to envision more.  Not because you cannot imagine it. But because imagining it would mean hope and when you have lost everything.  Hope can be terrifying.  So I sat and made my list of favorite things.  It was pretty scary to put them into words.  Accepting they are my favorite and I don't have them is a different level of self reflection. 

My Favorite Things

Fresh grass that grows on rolling hills, the sounds of waves hitting the beach. 

Wild flowers that spring up everywhere without permission and the vines that grow in the trees. 

Slow dancing to a country song with no one watching, a gentle lovers kiss. 

Rivers that flow freely around mountains and the rocks that line them are so smooth and quiet.

Butterflies flowing through city parks as if people don't exist. The scurry of small animals into bushes.  Deer watching everything around them.  And a song that takes me home. 

I love the color green and the rise of the sun.  But the Moon speaks to my soul. I love billowy clouds and the sounds of my children laughing.  

My favorite things are feeling home with someone I love and home when I hear my kids run in the door after school.  

Its small little boxes surprises along the way.  I love the dances and inspiration I find in people Gods blessed me with.  Their stories, their hearts and who they are.  

I love coffee black, and the darkest chocolate.  The feeling of a bed with cozy blankets and pillows.  The sound of a lone man singing without anything but a guitar. 

I love homemade biscuits and the smell of sausage cooking. 

I love the sound of my kids screaming and chasing each other down the hall.  The way the hardwood floor echoes with their laughter.  And I love the quiet bubble bath surrounded by candles with all the lights out.  

I love the sound of a storm rolling in, and the morning after a rain.  I love hot summer days.  The peek of a vaulted ceiling with massive windows looking out onto a hillside.  The whisper of my daughter- “Mommy you are my best friend!” The look in my son's eyes when he says “I just need a hug Mom” I love hearing my oldest tell me about his thoughts.  And my bonus daughter saying “Because I call her Honey, she will always be Honey not step mom.” 

I love work that requires sweat, and nights that require hot showers.  I love the way girls get silly over the tiniest trinkets at the store.  How my boys love the most sentimental trinkets from home. 

I love the taste of amazing food, and the smell of peace. I love saw dust and ashes. I love the stages of a Magnolia blooming and the texture of her leaves.  I love the trees calling me to climb again. And running across the trails without any thoughts at all.  I love an old pair of jeans and big t-shirt.  And the call from someone that just wants to laugh with me.  

My favorite thing is the dreams I get when I allow the spirit to show me and the voices that call out to me to keep running.  I love the sound of a friends voice. And the cries of a new baby.  I love hugs and closeness just sharing space with nothing said.  

I love watching people trying to help people, and the hope that brings to a room. I love the sound of praises going up to heaven.  But mostly the sound of heaven coming down.  

It is ok to stop a moment and not just be grateful for what we have in the moment but admit that there are things we love so much that are not in our hands at the moment.  Recognize how many things are actually possible and why they are beautiful. Take a moment to be present and accept that being in this moment fully allows you a better view to celebrate what will be again.  

I am so thankful for what I have right now, and still feel attached to what I don't have.  I am grateful for where I am, where I have been and cannot wait to see where I am going.